9:28 PM 11/28/2005

Well, I guess I haven’t yet gotten the balance of school and blogging—I mean I had plenty of chances to blog when I was at school but instead I worked on my 2000 word paper, my speech, and my math work. Then I sat there and wondered when exactly the math teacher was going to explain how he planned to test (torture?) us with the final. I’ve been wondering how exactly I’m going to do on it. I’m constantly feeling obliged to finish what homework I just thought of [ practice your speech, now—get your math done—you’re screwed ].
     Then there’s this guilt trip about family and friends getting sick because I was sick with something—what’s that about. I think I warned them. It all started like this: I was talking to a former math tutor of mine and he was sick with something—he coughs and I wonder to myself [ am I going to get sick? Ah, what the hell—I’m not going to be the one who spends time fearing germs—besides I’m probably already sick anyway ]. The consequences follow: My girlfriend comes over and wants to screw around—I explain that I’m sick and that she would do best to stay away from me—she later told me it was her fault for not letting me get the rest and recuperation needed—but I still feel guilty. Then thanksgiving is coming upon us and I have invited her to come with me to my sister’s house. She asks me to ask my sister if we should go there if we are sick. Ok, my sister says that we’ll play it by ear and see if we’re feeling better the next day. Low and behold wishful thinking has taken over and my girlfriend is sick (I’m more over being sick than her because I went and got antibiotics) when we arrive. In the night I hear kids coughing like I cough. My nephew is sick and has a high temperature, my sister, who is pregnant, is scared of getting sick (rightly so)… I still feel anxious and my mind is coming up with incredible scenarios of doom and gloom. What can I do? I’m not going to pass blame on to my girlfriend for being sick—I was sick too so it could have easily been me who got them sick. All I can do is hope things turn out alright.
Then there’s this chimera that I’ve put up for your deference to me. It’s an interesting one—the idea that drugs are interested in me (semi-obvious Marilyn Manson reference). So anyway—I’ve been looking into the blogging phenomena and found some interesting blogs you should check out (the next button at blogger.com is pretty cool). This guy is pretty interesting just because his views are so extreme—the username ‘elect of God’ gives me concerns though. The concept behind this one is really cool. Well, this blog is getting into the 500 word range… [ O I hope no one gives me crap about deep linking to so many sites ] better stop on word 525.